Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Massimo Moratti says Tevez is news to me

That reads like a line from a musical.  And what a musical this story would be!  It follows the twists and tales of a scarred Argentinian boy as he flees his native South America for promised riches in the wicked west, working hard with no reward before being taken under the wing of a Sheikh in olde englande:


Despite being offensively ugly, the boy scores fuckloads of goals, pisses off half of the city he lives in and moves to the rival tribe.  After becoming bored with life in this new country he hands in a sacred 'transfer request', inscribed in stone.  The evil Italian rejects his pleas to escape and poor Tevez is trapped in eternal hell, earning only £200,000 a week to survive on.  Meanwhile hospital waiting list times climb up and up and wars wage around the world, but poor Tevez must soldier on, defiant until he reaches his ultimate destination at Inter Milan.  Which will definitely happen, according to the Guardian and the laws of football.

Moratti just doesn't know anything about it, sort of like how I don't know anything about your Mum's facebook