Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Man Utd confirm De Gea Signing

Manchester United need to fill the giant hole left by Edwin Van der Sar retiring and have tonight confirmed the signing of David de Gea (pronounced gaya lols)

Reports are that the fee will be around £17m for the 20 year old which of course is obscene money in real life but probably represents quite a good deal in football, considering how young he is and that the majority of goalkeepers are really shit these days.

As close to a quote as I could get confirming this, from Alex Ferguson at the Gary Neville testimonial -
"We've been working on it for quite a while. We identified him quite a while back as one we should go for." 
One slight problem though, he is Spanish so will no doubt be terrified of catching the ball. Look forward to seeing lots of punches all over the place next season, not the interesting Joey Barton punching but the "oh dear Gomes just punched it into his own net" punching. That's harsh on Gomes, he just let's balls go through his legs, and harsh on Barton, he actually burns out cigarettes on young players and kicks people's heads in ouside of fast-food restaurants.

Going back to Gary Nevilles testimonial, his brother Phil confirmed what we all knew all along. Before kick off he was asked about his brother's reaction to his transfer to Everton and how he never spoke to him, to quote
"I thought, what a knob!"
Sorry Gary, even your brother thinks you're a dick and I think the majority of the country would agree. Still. Awesome goatee. (there was a video on youtube but it was taken down, try to find it, it's brilliant)