Friday, 20 May 2011

Bassong stuck in hell

Spurs centre-back Sebastien Bassong has been in the papers today making noises for a move away from White Hart Lane this summer after being left on the bench for pretty much the entire season.
GET ME OUTTA HEEEEEEERE!
I feel sorry for Bassong, I mean just last year he was playing regularly for one of the best teams in the league, being lauded for some great performances and being paid thousands of pounds for doing it. Then BANG! He get's banished to hell. By hell I mean the Spurs subs bench.

"I haven't made some huge mistake on the pitch or anything. It's just happened. For a bit, I felt lost because I haven't faced this situation before in my career. I feel that I have gone backwards, like I have gone from heaven to hell."
In fairness to Seb, we're mates so I can call him that, he does say that actually playing football is important to him and not the money. If that's the case then I will give up my place in my 5-a-side team and he can set up a direct debit, transferring half his wage into my bank account every week.

Good news for Bassong is that I have been watching a lot of Supernatural and I am fully aware that the rapture is here and he really is experiencing hell on Earth. Harry Redknapp is clearly a zombie judging by his decomposing face, his brain will need to be destroyed and my colt 45 is up for the job. Joe Jordan, the pasty bastard, is a ghost, his body will need to be found, salted and burned. Daniel Levy is a vampire and despite what you may have read, the only way to kill a vampire is decapitation. A samurai sword should do the trick here. Sepp Blatter is without a doubt the vessell for the devil himself but sadly I am only half way through season 5 of Supernatural and they still haven't figured out how to kill him. The end is nigh.