Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Aguero says it's time to go

Perhaps another one of footballs worst kept secrets, Sergio Aguero has said "fuck this noise" and has handed in a transfer request before flying to Dubai to escape the angry mob.

Aguero, who has been at Atletico Madrid since 2006, is nicknamed Kun after his granparents said he resembled some Japanese anime character called Kum Kum. They obviously changed it to Kun because Kum Kum sounds like a Japanese bukkake film.

From real newspaper The Guardian -

"I've thought long and hard and I am convinced that I must be true to myself. I do not think I put a ceiling on the ability to keep learning, to keep growing. After five intense years, this stage for me personally is over and I have to give way to a new one. 
"I'm about to turn 23 and I have everything before me. Suffice it to say that this is not an economic issue but strictly a sporting one. So I want to clearly express my appreciation to the club for the efforts they have made for giving me a salary that equates with the largest clubs in the world."
Real Madrid are believed to be the destination, which will not go down too well with the Atletico fans. Aguero perhaps sensing the shit storm it would cause, got a flight straight to Dubai. What interests me most about Aguero is his son, that didn't come out right. You see young Sergio, a clearly gifted and promising player, is married to Maradona's daughter. Now she is pretty ugly so he is definitely doing this for one reason. TO CREATE AN UNSTOPPABLE, TINY, FOOTBALL GOD. With those kind of genes this child, made in the football heavens, will make Messi look like Tony Hibbert,  he will stop all the wars in the middle east, bring hope and prosperity to all of Africa, create a solution to the economic crisis and perhaps, even bring balance to the force. Help us Benjamin Aguero, you're our only hope.