Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Abramovich wishes he was manager

Transfer gossip today starts with Russian oil tycoon Roman Abramovich's apparent want to actually enjoy watching Chelsea playing football, seeing as how he bought them in the same way that one buys football manager just to fanny about.  The Sun (always reliable) today reports Fabregas and Gareth Bale are top of his wish list!
picture borrowed from www.inthestands.co.uk
I can't actually quote anything in the Sun because the internet connection I'm using wants to block anything with tits on it, a problem I might face today when trying to write about Premier League footballers.  The rich Russian wants to spend up to £80 million according to The Sun reporter, and no more than that because that would be too much.  £80 million sounds just about right for a midfielder who cannot be arsed, and a winger whose only skill is to run really, really fast.  It's a good skill, in fairness, and he has got a good touch but if he was right footed he'd simply look like a really fast monkey.  As we all know, left footed players can kick a ball much harder - that's science.  We tried to find Ancelotti for his response on what players he'd actually like to sign but all he could do was mumble incoherently and cry while he tried to access a twitter account that had already been set up for him.