Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Sven Goran Erkisson is a genius / idiot savant

Sexy Swede Sven has been given a £10 million 'war chest' to spend in the Summer which will presumably be spent on Emile Heskey, prostitutes and gagging orders to the press.  Oh, it turns out one of those is actually is true:

Sven Goran Eriksson has been given a £10million-plus transfer budget to mount a Premier League push at Leicester.
The Foxes’ Thai owners are ready to sanction a move for old boy Emile Heskey (right), who will be allowed to leave Aston Villa. Eriksson has also been cleared to make a push for a marquee goalkeeper – with Manchester City’s Shay Given at the top of his list.

In all seriousness, if my employer made £10 million available to buy players for my club, I would sooner invest the money resurrecting Marc Vivian Foes decaying skeleton before I let Emile Heskey charge around the pitch.  If he's a free transfer or £500,000 then great, nice work Sven, but the whole point of paying money for a striker is that he scores goals and the only one of Heskey's goals I can remember is that one against Germany where he did the golf putting celebration.  He's probably scored more, but the more I type, the more I can't help but notice Sven looks like a cross between Dr Robotnik and Mr Mackie from South Park.  And the more I think about that, the more I think about how he managed to get Ulrika Johnson to also take her clothes off when he took his clothes off.  Is he the greatest con man of all time?  He manages to convince millionaire chairmen to invest in Emile Heskey and make hot swedish milfs do things to him.  Allegedly.