Saturday, 30 April 2011

Mick McCarthy knows the Wolves are at the door....

Mick McCarthy's Wolves are staring relegation in the face and big Mick wants his team to string a few wins together so he can finally go to the toilet in peace.

1.21 gigawatts?

"I have sat on the toilet and dwelt on it, and stood at the toilet and dwelt on it. It has never left me," he said.
 "It's just that nagging sore, but I have not found a lotion that can salve it."
Yup poor Mick McCarthy is so worried about the trouble his club are in that he can't even find any serenity whilst sat on the throne. Perhaps Mick actually just has a medical problem, he doesn't seem intelligent enough for metaphor or symbolism, I think he literally means that he is so stressed out from being the manager of a horrible club in a horrible city that he has actually developed hemorrhoids.

There are so many rubbish teams in the Premier League, Stoke, Blackburn, Wolves, Birmingham, West Ham, Wigan, West Brom,  Sunderland, in fact pretty much every team outside the top six. Manchester United are going to win the league as probably the worst champions of all time. La Liga is full of precious tarts who when touched dive to the ground and call for oxygen masks and stretchers and Serie A is so corrupt that it doesn't even count as a real league anymore. 

I'm going to start watching the Bundesliga, lots of goals, full of Football Manager legendary players and crazy fans. Bottom of the table St Pauli even have a sausage train, yes they actually have a miniature train that goes around delivering sausages to hungry fans, if you pay for VIP you also get your own personal beer tap. God I love Germany, don't worry about those two little wars you started, I wasn't even alive.