Sunday, 10 April 2011

Man Utd win the league (almost definitely)

Saturday's Premier League football surprised no-one and now all my glory hunting friends can celebrate because United (actually deservedly) have amassed a 10 point lead at the top of the table:

Everyone's favourite vampire Dimitar Berbatov scored the first goal and then Michael Jackson circa 1980 scored the 2nd in their 2-0 victory over mighty Fulham.  In other relevant news Nani has now set up 19 goals in the league and scored 10 times yet was not thought of for player of the year in the recent awards nominations.

Blackburn vs Birmingham had the potential to be the most irrelevant and boring game of football in the world of all time and it lived up to expectations by finishing in a 1-1 draw.  If both of these teams mysteriously disappeared I'm not sure anyone would actually care.  I have never looked forward to a game which starts 'Blackburn vs' or 'Birmingham vs' except for when the last part is 'He-Man' or 'Sub-Zero'.

Peter Crouch did his best to avoid being stabbed on the tube by scoring twice and setting up a 3-2 victory for Spurs.  It's about the least he could have done after his antics in Madrid, and probably calms 'Arry's nerves a little bit considering the rumour that the club have based all their spending on achieving Champions League qualification every year and might have to sell everyone, including Gareth Bale who is now apparently worth £80 million because he can run very fast and is the only left winger in the world who isn't Ryan Giggs.

Woy Hodgson continued to display his genuine talents as a manager as he endeavours to keep West Brom above water.  They beat Sunderland 3-2 and this puts them 7 points clear of the drop zone, which is what we will call the relegation section of the league now because it sounds more like war, and war is cool.  The rest of Saturday's football saw Chelsea beat Wigan 1-0; the only thing that can make that story interesting is that Fernando Torres still hasn't scored and now Abramovich wants to sell him again presumably so he can be melted down to make glue.  Bolton beat someone 3-0, I don't even care who, West Ham apparently.  Meh.  Oh and Everton beat Wolves 3-0 to make sure that Wolves are still stuck in the DROP ZONE and it doesn't unbalance the universe if Mick McCarthy stops a club from being relegated.