Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Can Tottenham Hotspur Finally Win the Premier League Title?

You have to go all the way back to 1961 for the last time a Tottenham Hotspur side lifted the English title but that could change in the near future. Mauricio Pochettino’s Spurs have been there or thereabouts in each of the last two years and it might be third time lucky if the club are astute in the transfer market this summer.

Source: Tottenham Hotspur via Facebook

Arsenal fans have revelled in Tottenham’s misery in recent years but Spurs are now arguably much more suited to challenge for the title than their north London rivals. Pochettino’s men finished 11 points clear of the Gunners last season; securing second spot whilst Arsenal failed to qualify for the Champions League for the first time under Arsene Wenger.

In Harry Kane, they have the best striker in the Premier League and Spurs supporters will be expecting another huge campaign from the England man. He may be just 23 years old but Kane already has two Golden Boot accolades to his name and the Tottenham star will need to be at his brilliant best for the entire campaign if Pochettino’s men are to compete.
The Kane-Dele Alli combination was lethal last season and Tottenham will be right up there with the two Manchester clubs, Chelsea and Liverpool if they continue in the same vein. The England duo linked up on numerous occasions to inspire Spurs to victory and supporters will be hoping that they can improve further this time around.

But of course, winning the title isn’t just about scoring goals – it is about preventing them. On paper, Spurs have the best defensive unit in the Premier League and it would take a brave man to back against the north London side if Toby Alderweireld, Danny Rose and Jan Vertonghen stay fit. Spurs fans will want Kyle Walker to stay but Kieran Trippier is more than capable of slotting into the side.

Unfortunately, Spurs will have to end their Wembley Stadium hoodoo if they are to stand any chance of winning the Premier League crown next season. Tottenham failed to inspire confidence at the home of English football when playing European fixtures there last season and Pochettino’s side will play all of their games there whilst the White Hart Lane development is ongoing.

Winning the opening home fixture of the campaign against Chelsea could spur Tottenham on to push for the English crown. An early victory over the current holders should give Spurs a confidence boost ahead of what could be a memorable season.

As of July 11th, the north London outfit are available at 9/1 in bet365’s football betting odds and bettors will be confident that Spurs can do the business. This is Tottenham’s time to shine. You’d find it difficult to recall a Spurs side that boasts so much quality and Pochettino is the man to take the north London outfit back to the top of English football. Arsenal fans, enjoy your mocking while you can – Tottenham are serious contenders this year.

Friday, 21 July 2017

England absolutely hump Scotland except women

It's Euro 2017, the women's version, which is the same as the men's but with women... instead of men. And if you or anyone you know suggests that it isn't absolutely brilliant, top notch stuff then you are a sexist of unimaginable horror.

Exceptions can legitimately be when watching Scotland, who are absolutely horse at football regardless of gender.

This goal, England's fourth, was a veritable peach. A goal for all women's football. Clever movement, a Hollywood pass and a lovely little finish over the keeper. But now we must talk about the goalkeeper.

Scotland Goalkeeper (actual name) is very small. She is also shit. If you were to ask me for a football betting offer, I would tell you that should you place money that you own on Scotland conceding goals every time she plays, you would make some money. And isn't that the point of football anyway? To bet on everything. You can't just enjoy the game and watch the drama that unfolds - oh god no. Now it is law to watch the beautiful game and risk your house on it.

What's that little Timmy? You need surgery and it's going to cost money? Well I'm very sorry but I really thought Curtis Davies was going to score a hat-trick before the 38th minute in a friendly against Rotherham. I just had a feeling. Sorry about your surgery but I think you'll find the afterlife very pleasant at this time of year. And if you don't die then you can watch Scotland play football and wish that you had.

Perhaps this Euro 2017 tournament will be the one to thrust women's football into your hearts and eyes, and if it is, that means there is yet another summer tournament of football to allow adverts to encourage you to 'have a bang on that' until the day you wake up on some bin bags behind a nightclub which used to be a church, regretting your decisions.

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Sunderland relegated, Moyes can travel to home planet

Sunderland are one of the worst Premier League sides I've ever seen and on Saturday they successfully managed to relegate themselves by losing to Bournemouth. All glory to David Moyes.

David Moyes has said various positive things during his time at Sunderland, things like "we need to win games" and "we need to score goals" and "I can't wait to return to my home planet, which I will be able to do once I've completed my transformation from elite level manager to relegator" and yes, that's how I'm choosing to spell relegator. Which isn't even a word.

Anyway. So there Moyes was, getting Sunderland relegated and suddenly a bright light shone from the sky .HEAVENS ABOVE the crowd chanted, probably in tune with that Crystal Palace song that everyone else is stealing now. GET YOUR OWN SONGS! I hate that, when teenagers start trying to be real die hard fans by just using someone elses's songs. The Ed Sheerans of football chants.

Review and compare all bookies and all of the best betting sites available in the UK if you want to, but any way Moyes can now return to his home planet, called "Scotland" where he can enjoy a successful post-management career. He's not left Sunderland yet but the only way to return to his true form is to believe, just like you with your dreams. If you want to shag the ice cream man, boy, you just go out and do it. Believe. But get consent first OK bye see ya later.

Saturday, 29 April 2017

Spurs vs Arsenal: Three at the back is like so hip right now

The other day someone managed to flip their car on to its back on the 20mph speed limit street outside my house. How? How do you do even do that? Perhaps this was a sign - strange things were going on in North London. Stranger than Arsenal playing with a 3-4-2-1?! Let's find out.

As we all know, there is nothing sexier in life than a new formation, and Arsenal now play with three centre backs because people in North London will literally die unless they keep up with whatever is fashionable.

Arsene Wenger was like 'yeh boi I is gon totes change it up magoo' and put ROB HOLDING, champion of our hearts, in defence next to Laurent Koscielny and Gabriel - not the singer from Genesis or the pirate loving R&B star - and it's gone sort of OK. Compare betting offers from all of the greatest uk bookies if you'd like to try and win money guessing how screwed they'll be against Spurs, who are now very good at the soccering. 

It's not just Arsenal playing 3-4-2-1 - everyone is at it. At five a side they're doing it, in offices around the country they're doing it - with three receptionists, those important finance people can type with even more attacking freedom knowing that Sally downstairs will be having a whale of time rescheduling their golf meetings and arranging drop offs with their narcotics supplier.

And now, let's listen to the greatest football song ever first - perhaps that will inspire you to bet, the thing you absolutely have to do if you even like football these days. And just like gambling there is no possible way that 3-4-2-1 could go wrong, certainly not for an Arsenal team who love selfies and conceding goals and failure. 

I was on a tube train (it's one of the ones that lives under the soil) the other day and these four or five Arsenal fans were singing all their favourite songs, like about how Harry Kane's family were "mongs" and that Wojiech Szczesny built their house "because he's Polish" and another terrific ditty that goes "he's white, he's black, he plays at centre-back it's Gabriel" because they were just a great bunch of lads. Cunts. Arsenal fans are the worst. And Liverpool. And Old Firm. And just everyone, I really don't like football people.

And that is all you get from FitbaThatba today. Peace out.

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Five worst ever Premier League transfer flops

Throughout the history of the Premier League, there have been many memorable players to grace the division. But for every superstar to arrive in the prestigious English top-flight, there are also those who fail to live up to expectations. So, we look back on five of the biggest Premier League flops in recent seasons.  

Andy Carroll 

After the arrival of Luis Suarez at Anfield, Liverpool fans were expecting further huge signings – and they got one, in the form of Andy Carroll. The towering frontman was then made the most expensive Englishman in the Premier League, after his £35 million switch from Newcastle United.  His career can be easily summed up. Six goals in 44 outings, injuries, frustration and off-the-field rumours. Carroll's current club West Ham United are an outside 66/1 with bet365 in the Premier League betting to face relegation this season.

Fernando Torres 

A familiar face up next, with Torres having gone from Reds hero to Blues zero in just a matter of months. Chelsea signed the Spaniard from Liverpool for a mammoth £50 million in January 2011.  He went on to score a dismal seven goals in his two Premier League campaigns in London. When the term 'waste of money' is ever mentioned, Torres is undoubtedly the first name that springs to mind. However, he did manage to pick up FA Cup, Champions League and Europa League honours while there!

Eric Djemba-Djemba  

So bad they named him twice! Or so the saying goes. Djemba-Djemba arrived at Old Trafford back in 2003 with a big reputation, having been dauntingly billed as the next Roy Keane.  Things didn't exactly go according to plan, however, as it took just 20 appearances after his £3.5 million move from Nantes for supporters to realise he wouldn't be following in the footsteps of their famous former Irish captain. The midfielder instead has been dubbed Sir Alex Ferguson's worst ever signing during an illustrious career at Manchester United.

Afonso Alves 

 An incredible 45 goals struck in 39 games for Heerenveen in the Eredivisie, a tally both Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo would be proud of, saw Alves rise to prominence. Surely that clinical eye for goal would see the Brazilian become a success in England?  Unfortunately not, for Middlesbrough. The forward was an instant flop, as he averaged less than one strike every four games for the club, with 10 in 42 games after arriving for a substantial £13 million.

Konstantinos Mitroglou 

Premier League relegation looms. The January transfer market is open. There's millions to spend. Who do you sign? Greek forward Mitroglou, of course! That's the decision that London outfit Fulham made back in January 2014. Such a move turned out to be an absolute disaster at Craven Cottage, with Mitroglou failing to deliver upon his arrival in the capital.  The flop forward ended up playing just three games for the club as they were ultimately relegated from the Premier League. He later joined Olympiakos on loan for a season in August after a nightmare spell. This is a prime example of a huge gamble gone completely wrong for clubs in England's top tier division. 

Thursday, 15 December 2016

The joy of xmas

Do you remember when Richard Gordon off Sportsound gave us a Christmas present? Oh sweet memories.

We never did get to use those tickets but if we had, we would have enjoyed them. I mean they weren't real. But all it takes is confidence sometimes. Walk up to the ticket man, say hello, tell him you don't need a ticket. If you have a ticket it's even easier. 

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

The Magic of the FA Cup

Jack Burkitt - Nottingham Forest FA Cup Winners 1959

It’s time to practise saying stuff like “massive upset”, “giant slaying”, and “shock result” as the FA Cup is about to introduce the teams that people have actually heard of. There has already been a round of fixtures with sides like Braintree Town and Solihull Moors magically prevailing over their opposition. Come January, football fans will begin to take a vague interest in England’s seminal knockout tournament- mainly people who support teams that don’t normally have a hope in hell of winning anything.
Yes, Wigan and Portsmouth will be licking their lips at the opportunity to storm towards another addition to their trophy cabinets. And players from Braintree and Solihull are already praying that they draw a club that plays in a proper stadium should they progress past the next stage (second round opponents Millwall and Luton Town don’t really count).
Manchester City are 13/2 in the FA Cup betting to win the tournament, because they are supposed to be winning everything now they have a manager with a proven track record of winning everything. Pep Guardiola has, in fact, already failed to win the League Cup, losing to Jose Mourinho’s expensive underachievers. Why bookies think the Catalan will show more bottle in the FA Cup is anyone’s guess.
The magic of the FA Cup is that anyone can win. And as many people enjoyed saying last season when Leicester City won the Premier League: “Anyone can beat anyone in this game.” Instead of backing sides like City and Chelsea, why not instead stake large sums of dosh on the likes of Stourbridge and Curzon Ashton at 4500/1? You will kick yourself when they pull off their fairy-tale “upsets” and go on to sweep aside the so-called giants.


The underdog mentality has proven to be more valuable than multimillion pound, blockbuster signings on numerous occasions. Why have Paul Pogba in your squad when you could have a part time painter and decorator who just “wants it more.”
The biggest giant slaying or whatever you want to call it was probably back in 1991-92 when Wrexham knocked out Arsenal in the third round. The Gunners were the reigning First Division champions at the time and the other team had finished the previous season at the foot of the football league.

The FA Cup also gives fans the chance to rejoice about being drawn against a team they hate that they haven’t played against for ages. This was the case for Leeds United in the 2009-10 season when they got to play their bitter enemy Manchester United. As testament to the “passion” between the two clubs all the pubs in the city centre were forced to close to avoid any unsavoury meetings between fans. Leeds won the match 1-0 (see video above) and still go on about it to this day.

What magic will occur in this season’s tournament as all the clubs in England battle for supremacy? My money’s on Braintree doing Millwall and putting together a decent run.