Monday, 12 October 2015

Ghost Twat is such a twat

In Episode Two of Ghost Twat, Ghost Twat does some more twattish things.

There are more episodes of Ghost Twat to come because I keep seeing people, including myself, doing things that are twattish.  Enjoy.

Oh and if you get bored of that you can also watch a video where every single AC/DC song ever written is one song.

Monday, 5 October 2015

He's a ghost, he's a twat, he's ghost twat - cartoon

Greetings. I have made a series of videos which will go up on the YouTube channel you love so much every week, so make sure you go and visit that as often as you visit this site. Which according to analytics is not very much anymore because I never write anything. But if you happen to be an advertiser, millions of people read this every single minute. That's definitely true.

Ghost Twat is the first episode. Enjoy him, hate him, do whatever you want. He is the embodiment of everything BoxPark. Shoreditch Box Park. You twats. 

Love you xxx

Friday, 18 September 2015

Cartoon: Arsene Wenger won't buy a striker

If, like me, you cannot stand all of the Arsenal people telling anyone who'll listen that what Arsenal need is a STROIKAH and MIDFIELDAH to fix their team, just because they play FIFA Ultimate Team and think transfers are as important as the actual sport, you might enjoy this cartoon I made.

In the video Arsene Wenger says some stuff and a hip looking Arsenal fan is there and that's pretty much it to be honest. Share it with friends, lick your laptop screen, hump your iPad - do whatever the fuck you like. I honestly don't care. Just send me money or something.

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Cartoon: Why David De Gea's transfer fell through

Ed Woodward's negotiation techniques are revealed in this shocking real life footage of a cartoon parody of what may have happened. In a cartoon.

We all know now that Ed Woodward is a negotiator of the most deranged kind but what we didn't know is that he uses only the telephone and a laptop which looks like a Macbook pro. And yes I have just flipped around the office set that I use all of the time to make it look like I've drawn a new background. Thanks for asking.

Holy hell I haven't updated this site since August. I'm so sorry. Thanks if you've come visiting. One day soon I'll get it back going again :-(

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Sky Sports "don't care" about losing La Liga rights, "prefer Dutch football anyway"

Sky Sports have revealed that they "don't care" about losing La Liga broadcasting rights to rivals BT Sport because they "don't like La Liga anyway, it's so 2010".

BT Sport famously entered the sports broadcasting arena two years ago when they decided that the perfect union of football and Sky Sports that had worked for the previous 20 years needed to be ruined.

A spokesman for Sky Sports said this:
I don't care if they take La Liga off us because the Ere Divisie is really were it's at. Who needs Iniesta when you can watch a team from a town you thought was in Belgium draw against another one you haven't heard of. That's what real football is about.
Having already won joint custody of the Premier League, a judge then ruled in favour of BT Sport getting the Champions League rights this season. Things have since taken an unexpected and sour turn as Sky Sports reportedly refused to turn up to a hearing about paying football rights support, and will now only be able to visit La Liga on alternate weekends.

BBC wouldn't give comment because they were too busy employing teenagers to run their social media accounts. You won't believe what happened next.

Celtic delight at winning SPFL title after 4 minutes of league football

Brave Ross County waited all of 4 minutes before just rolling over and accepting that Celtic's inevitable victory en route to SPFL glory was going to happen at some point anyway.

Leigh Griffith's, father of crime, patiently waited until the 4th minute of the SPFL opening day, where you can buy a sofa at four years interest free credit, before scoring a penalty. Referee Willie Collum spoke after the match:
I was bored of Ross County pretending they were going to try and win, so to speed things up I just awarded Celtic the first of the 28 penalties they'll get this season. I have no idea if it was actually a foul or whatever but I mean come on.
SPFL officials waited until the second goal in 35th minute before carving Celtic's name onto the trophy and handed it over to the club chairman, Paddy McStuckinthePast along with a giant cheque for the amount of "however much you need".

League rivals Aberdeen kick off their campaign for second on Sunday against Celtic's feeder club, Dundee United, whose ambitions this year include selling any players that turn out to be quite good, and taking money from fans in exchange for keeping several club employees in work.

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Raheem Sterling phones in sick for work

Here's a cartoon I made for The Daily Telegraph in which Raheem Sterling phones in sick for training. Because that's a real thing that happens now and again.

I know what you're thinking, and yes I have invested in some nice new software to make my cartoons better. Where I thought it would save me time, what actually happens is I start trying to make things look better and thus the whole process takes longer so then I just don't bother doing two different people in the same cartoon to save time for.

Does that make the cartoon better? I don't know. All we can really be sure of is that I hate the tube strike.

I'm just putting this picture here so that it shows up on Google searches. I still don't really understand how Blogger works.