Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Roy Hodgson's final England team talk

England lost to Iceland lol



Did you see it? It was embarrassing and hilarious. Like watching a team of drunk people try to break into their own house.

Christ.

lol.

That is all.


Oh and tell your friends to subscribe to the YouTube. No idea how all these fucking teenagers have made millions shouting to a camera in their mum's house. 

Friday, 24 June 2016

Roy Hodgson reacts to Brexit: the cartoon

I cannot believe England voted themselves out of Europe, the United Kingdom and common sense but they did. Very successfully. Well done, everyone. Bravo. Here's Roy learning about Brexit.



I have no idea whether Daniel Sturridge is genuinely sad about Brexit, like most people under the age of 50, but without wanting to go into how hilariously ludicrous is that this referendum happened and then went in favour of Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson is beyond me. I'm no Tory basher, nor do I think everyone who voted leave is racist, but I do think they are all cunts.

Anyway enjoy my cartoon. If you weren't born in the UK perhaps it'll give you a laugh as you're being deported.


Here's a picture to go with it to help the Google spiders. I always wonder what the Google spiders look like and if they'd be friendly. Normally I don't like spiders but I get the feeling the Google ones would be alright. Plus, they already know what porn I like and how many things I have in my Amazon basket so we'd have some good chat.

Here's a Facebook embed for you. Pretty cool how all these things work really.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Roy Hodgson says England are doomed

Brave England were unfortunate not to finish top of their group, failing to beat the worst Russia side in existence and then drawing with Slovakia, which I'm not even sure where that is. After that game, Roy Hodgson said England are not doomed.

Oh England. Did you watch that Slovakia game? I left the house at 80 minutes, furious that I'd wasted that part of my life sat in front of a tv when I could have been in a pub or playing GTA V online. How dare they take that away from me.

In other news, I've been making loads of these cartoons.



I'm not sure anyone even likes them.

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Funny football cartoon with Roy Hodgson & Space Monkey

Here's a football cartoon about Roy Hodgson, starring Roy Honson and his friend, Space Monkey. It's part of a series that I have somewhat ambitiously said I will release a new episode of every day. Guess how well that's working so far.


The clever amongst you will have noticed that the title of this blog post is slightly different from usual. You might say it's a title which in is designed to get the absolute most out of Google SEO, especially at a time when Emilia Clarke naked videos might be found online. Next you'll be telling me that Cristiano Ronaldo is better than Lionel Messi and get tickets to One Direction!



In the end though, what we all want is to find out what I pass as acceptable for a published video when only four days in the tournament, I have no ideas left. Hooray for creativity.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Louis Van Gaal just wants to be loved

Louis Van Gaal won the FA Cup on Saturday and was rewarded by lots of journalists asking him about whether he'll still be manager next season, because nobody is allowed to enjoy anything anymore.


Ed Woodward has cashed out early on his LVG plan and hired the mercenary Jose Mourinho because United fans keep moaning about only finishing near the top four. While the spoilt supporters cry over dull football, the good news is that Mourinho's title winning sides have all been incredibly fucking boring to watch. It also spells the end of Marcus Rashford and Jesse Lingard's development at the club as Mourinho sends them to Serie B on loan until they are 28 and ready to track back more.

Hibs and Rangers fans celebrate cup final by punching each other

Hibs won the Scottish Cup on Saturday and the fans were so happy about it that they all ran onto the pitch and started punching each other, while commentators pretended that they didn't want to see those scenes.


After winning the trophy, Hibs fans stormed the Hampden pitch, sitting on goal posts and - according to Rangers - assaulting some of the players and staff. The commentary team on Sky Sports made it very clear that nobody wants to see this kind of thing, which is strange, because literally everybody does. It was ace. Who doesn't want to watch 10,000 mental, pissed up idiots punch each other in a huge rammy, from the safety of their own home?

Hibs have declared that they will have the families of all of those involved executed while Rangers have gone down the route of making sure Hibs get all the blame, even though hundreds of their undead supporters came streaming onto the pitch for the sole purpose of fighting. While I don't condone the behaviour of both sets of fans, I will happily watch them beat each other up. For hours.

Thursday, 12 May 2016

Jamie Vardy: The Movie

Here is the trailer for Jamie Vardy: The Movie (talk nonsense, achieve full penetration).



In this video you get to find out about all the amazing things that will happen in the actual movie when they make it, with some revelations about the starring cast. I can't wait to see it.

Now go and share it with your friends on Snapchat, since that is where the kids  go these days. I have absolutely no idea how to use Snapchat.